Shattered
by Salexa
Summary: One-shot about a girl whose heart breaks when she realises Magnus loves someone else.


"Magn-" his name dried on her tongue as she entered the living room. Stumbling back, her heart fracturing in her chest, she spun, retreating back down the hall. How could she have been so stupid? Bumping the bedroom door shut behind her, she leaned heavily against it.

How had she missed it? The blue eyed Shadowhunter's increased presence at the loft should've been the first sign, not to mention the seemingly probono work for he did for the Institute. It was obvious, she'd just been too blinded by her own feelings for the warlock to notice.

Dashing the traitorous tears from her cheeks, she straightened, heading for the closet.

She couldn't stay here, watching as his feelings grew for the boy. The tenderness with which he's held him, the gentleness of the kiss, she'd be lying to herself if she believed it was just a fling. He was rarely so hesitant with them.

Too think he'd changed his behaviour because of her.

A pained laugh escaping her throat, she crouched down, digging for the duffel bag she'd shoved to the back. Dragging it out, she remembered the look of distaste he'd given her when she'd first carried it out. She hadn't looked much better than the bag that day. He hadn't hesitated in taking it, or wrapping his free arm around her as they walked through the portal.

He'd been so kind to her.

Not blinking the tears away this time, she pulled clothes off their hangers, dumping them in the ratty bag. Once they were in, she piled the rest of her stuff on top, till it was only her pictures left. One was of her and her Mum when she was twelve and other was with him, taken a few weeks ago before they went clubbing. Both made her heart ache. Placing them carefully in, she pulled the zipper closed.

Staring around the empty room, her gut clenched. This was it. Arms wrapping around her middle, she doubled over as loneliness engulfed her.

First her Mum was killed and now she had to leave the only other person she'd trusted. But it wasn't fair on either of them for her to stay. He'd eventually realise how she felt, and she'd get her heart broken everyday seeing him love the Shadowhunter.

She couldn't make him love her, so she had to go.

Pulling herself together she looked at the other resident of the loft she'd miss. Walking to the bed she picked up the ball of white and grey fur, hugging him to her chest. "Goodbye Chairman Meow," she said releasing him. Purring as she gave him one last scratch behind the ears, she wiped the tears away with the other hand. Hopefully she'd see them again, once she'd managed to shove her feelings into the deepest pit she could find. When seeing him with somebody else no longer hurt.

Leaving the cat, she hooked the bag over her shoulder and headed for the door. Jumping off the bed, he followed her, weaving through her legs. "Sorry little buddy, but I have to," she stepped over him, continuing down the hall. If she didn't leave soon, she knew she'd change her mind.

Hearing footsteps approaching, she stopped at the corner, glancing around to see Alec stood before the door. His face was flushed and he was touching his lips.

How she envied him.

Ignoring the jab in her heart, she looked away. It was likely the last time she'd see him, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything. He and the rest of them would find out soon enough. Besides, she didn't need an audience for what she was about to do next.

She thought about just leaving, disappearing into the night, but quickly dismissed the idea. He deserved so much more than to find her empty room, and saying goodbye was the least she could do. Even if they were a garbled mess.

Alec was gone when she looked again, the dark wooden door drifting shut behind him. Moving closer, Chairman Meow still following her, she sat the bag down by the bookshelf. Clenching her hands together to stop the shaking, she stepped into the kitchen/magic workroom.

He had his back to her, the sleeves of his dark maroon shirt rolled up as he rummaged through the magic cabinet. Placing nearly empty jars on the counter beside him, she watched him work.

Her eyes prickling, she had to do this now, "Magnus."

"Hey," he said, tilting his head in her direction, "I swear these Shadowhunter's are trying to send me-" he cuts off as she wraps her arms around his middle, face pressed between his shoulder blades. He tensed, "Ari?"

"You know how much I appreciate everything you've done for me."

"Arianna?"

He tried to turn around, but she gripped him tighter. She couldn't look him in the eyes yet. "Magnus," her voice cracked halfway through, "Thank you."

"What's wrong?" he twisted out of her arms to face her. "Oh Ari," he pulled her against his chest.

Burying her face in his neck, she breathed him in, burning his scent to memory. The lick of magic mixed with spice that was him. With his hand on her hair and the other around her back, she enjoyed the feeling of being held one last time. Standing up on tiptoes, she kissed his cheek, lingering a few seconds too long.

"Ari?"

Stepping out of his arms she final met his eyes, the pupils thin slits beneath his furrowed brows. She'd miss those eyes. "Goodbye Magnus," she spoke, the words not much more than a strangled whisper before she spun, forcing her legs to make it to the door.

"Wait," he moved to stand in front of her, placing his hands on her bare shoulders, "where are you going? Ari, tell me what happened."

"It's for the best," she whispered, not looking up from his shiny black boots.

"What is? Arianna talk to me," he cupped her cheek with his hand, "please."

Why did he have to make this so hard for her?

Her tears ran over his fingers as he tilted her face up to look at him. How was she supposed to tell him she loved him when even the simplest words were catching in her throat?

Searching his eyes, she knew it was a bad idea, one that'd cause her more pain, but if she wanted him to let her go he needed some sort of explanation and if she couldn't speak it, there was only one other option.

Stepping into him, she stood on tiptoes and gently pressed her lips to his. They were as soft as she'd imagined, and she felt her heart shatter. Oh god. Tears spilling in constant streams, she stepped back, her hand lingering on his cheek. "That's why I have to leave," her lips curled up in a sad smile as he stared at her, his beautiful green-gold cats eyes wide.

It had worked, but disappointment squeezed her. It was a foolhardy dream to hope he'd kiss her back, but she couldn't deny the tiny part that had wanted just that. Removing her hand, her fingers trailing across his skin, she stepped out of reach, "Goodbye Magnus." Turning, she walked away, grabbing her ratty duffel bag off the floor as she passed. She'd made it to the door before his shock wore off.

"Ari, wait," blue sparks flew from his fingers and the door slammed shut in front of her. "You don't have to leave."

Turning to face him, he looked deflated. She'd done that to him, "Yes I do."

Hand outstretched, "Please Ari, we can talk about this." He moved toward her.

Backing up to the door, she shook her head, "You deserve to be happy Magnus."

"Ari, don't"

"And he makes you happy,"

His eyes glistened, "Listen, if you-"

She cut him off, "I'm sorry, Magnus." She forced a smile, "Goodbye Mags."

"NO!" he lunges for her, the tips of his fingers just missing her as she disappeared, the anguished look on his face the last thing she saw.

Collapsing to the floor of her childhood home, she wrapped her arms around her knees and sobbed.


End file.
